A new beginning
by Juliet Tiptree
Summary: Kurt is his everything. Blaine is his everything. But life had other plans.
1. A tragedy

**AN: Hi, I'm Lilly.**

**I honestly hope you like this story as much as I'm liking it right now.**

* * *

Blaine was his everything. Kurt was his everything.

Ever since they met at Dalton, it was like Blaine had met his soulmate.

The weeks that passed before Kurt transferred to Dalton, a happening that Blaine didn't see coming, did wonders for their friendship. They grew a "best friend" type relationship, since they were always open to going for a coffee, even though Lima and Westerville were two hours away from each other. Blaine missed him every second of the day, getting to levels where he'd text him after getting out of every class, when he went to have lunch..

Having Kurt transfer, was like being attached at the hip. It only took them two months to realize they were meant to be more than just friends.

But that had only been the beginning.

* * *

Kurt had been happily engaged to Blaine since they were both 17.

Blaine had gone to Columbia to major in marketing and Kurt had gone to Parsons to study fashion design.

Since they were both in New York, it was like they had never left Dalton. They'd meet for lunch, coffee, movie trips, shopping, everything.

Even though they were engaged, Kurt insisted they should live in different apartments, each closer to their respective school. It was Kurt's own little way of living apart until they got officially married.

Blaine always called Kurt in the mornings to wake him up and in the nights to wish him sweet dreams.

They had agreed to get married as soon as they were both done with college and their parents were okay with the idea.

* * *

Blaine had just been let known by the dean's office when the graduating ceremony was taking place.

Kurt was at Ohio, visiting his parents and Blaine just couldn't tell him over the phone. He had to see him in person.

He drove all the way from New York to Lima and bought a flower bouquet on the way. It was one of his many romantic tricks.

He parked outside the Hummel house and got to the front door.

He knocked twice but apparently no one was home. He knew exactly where the spare key was, so he decided to wait for their return inside.

What neither of them knew was that all that they had lived up until that day and all their plans for their future were coming to an end. One of those sad endings that shouldn't happen, but they still did.

Blaine had been born with a defect in his heart, a heart murmur. It had never really given him trouble. When he was a kid, he had been told more than half of kids developed those at some point in their life. He was just a normal person.

It's said that those things are God's tools for when something needs to happen.

* * *

As he walked down the hall that led to the basement, which had always been Kurt's bedroom, he had a stroke.

Young people rarely made it past strokes, and when you did, it was because you were taken to the hospital immediately.

The house was alone, so clearly, that didn't happen.

Blaine died a quick, non-painful death.

* * *

_**On the next chapter: Kurt comes home. **_

**AN: Before you slash my throat, remember this is just the first chapter of this. I know how sad this is, please don't hate me just yet. **

**Also, I hope that the consequent chapters will be growing in lenght.**


	2. Please don't leave me

**Yes, I changed my pen name. I had gone by LillyShaw, but I figured that could get messy, in case there is a real someone named Lilly Shaw. A friend lately nicknamed me Miss Oreo, so there's the new pen name.**

**I'm sorry I took so long to update! I was right in the heat of my college admission, but now I'm free, so updates should be steady.**

**I got great news, besides the fact that I did get accepted into college, and that is that chapter 3 is under process of writing. **

**To avoid falling asleep, I'm writing in French class, so you should have a new chapter this weekend.**

* * *

Kurt got back from the shopping trip with his family and as they approached their house, they saw Blaine's car parked.

"Kiddo, looks like you got visitors" His dad said.

Kurt only nodded and as soon as Burt had parked safely, he helped Carole with the grocery bgs to get inseide as soon as possible.

He got out again and got a bag with the new shirts he had bought.

"I'll be right out. I'm just going to say hi to Blaine, who is probably in my room and put this in my closet"

As he walked down the hall that led to his room, he saw something lying on the ground.

Wait. It wasn't something. It was someone. Flowers scattered all over the floor. Kurt dropped to his knees instantly and saw Blaine.

"Dad! Carole! Call and ambulance! Blaine, love, wake up! Blaine, Blaine!"

* * *

And ambulance got there about 10 minutes later. The walked inside the house and checked the body. There was nothing to do, he had been dead for over an hour. The doctor that came with the paramedics diagnosed the cause of death as a heart attack and filled a death certificate. The paramedics helped them set Blaine facing forward, lying on the floor. They should contact a funeral home to take care of the body.

"Blaine, Blaine! This can't be true! Blaine, Blaine! Please don't leave me.. Blaine, Blaine!"

A blank faced Burt and a crying Carole watched from behind how desperately Kurt tried to wake up Blaine.

About half an hour later, Burt touched Kurt's shoulder softly.

Kurt…the funeral home is here. They need to take Blaine's body.

A teary eyed Kurt raised his head from Blaine's chest and got up, helped by Carole.

The people from the funeral home took the body and said it'd be ready by 8.

After the technical things were solved, Kurt said he'd be in his room, saying he had to call Blaine's family and let them know what had happened.

* * *

As much as he wanted to get out of from the world, and evade the fact that Blaine was dead, he did have to call Blaine's family.

He tried to calm down and dialed the Anderson house.

"House of the Andersons. Who's calling" Anne, Blaine's mom picked up the phone.

"…Kurt"

"Hi sweetie! How are you doing?"

"Blaine's dead"

Silence. Then, after a minute or so, "Wh-What?"

"He had a heart attack apparently. I found him lying dead on the floor at my house"

"We'll be right over"

* * *

The Andersons lived about an hour away, halfway between Lima and Westerville. They knew exactly where the Hummel house was. They had been there for the big "We're-engaged-we're-getting-married" dinner.

After hanging up the phone, Kurt walked slowly to his closet and grabbed a hoodie of Blaine. He lied down on his bed and smelled the hoodie. Blaine. Blaine. He let the tears flow freely. Memories came rushing by. Blaine. Blaine. Please don't leave me. What am I supposed to do next?

* * *

**My beta reader said there was nothing to correct on this chapter, so this comes raw from my notebook. I certainly hope she is right and you don't see problems in this. **

**A lot of people told me to figure a way to make Blaine live, because Klaine is just so beautiful and I did come up with something, so have that hope. **


	3. He's gone

**You got lucky! **

**Right after I posted Chapter 2, illumination came to me and I was able to finish this chapter.**

**Without further ado, enjoy.**

* * *

Kurt still couldn't get through his head what was going on.

A blink of the eye and there he was, all dressed in black, at the funeral home, surrounded by family and friends. Everyone who got near him gave him their condolences and apologetical smiles.

He had to give an eulogy about Blaine. Blaine's parents had agreed he was the only person who could express what Blaine was. Truth is Kurt didn't know what to say about Blaine. It was more of a how-can-I-summarize-all-that-Blaine-was thing.

He sat in the front row, being hugged by Carole when a couple of people came by, carrying the coffin with them. They placed it in front of everyone.

* * *

Before Kurt realized so, he was being called to give the speech.

_"Blaine was a man nobody can replace… at least not in my heart. We had been together for 6 years and we had a beautiful life planned together. Blaine and I were perfect for each other and we were! Blaine was affectionate and was not a man of few words at all! Blaine had lots to say for just about anything. Anyone who ever had the chance to talk to him would say, he indeed had lots of things in his mind. I guess you can say Blaine was "opinionated". He was brave, tender and caring._

_My soul feels like it has lost half of it, as if someone had ripped it away._

_Blaine dreamt big. He was always encouraging me to pursue my dreams. He may be gone physically, but he's still here, in all of our hearts._

_Blaine lived his life the best way he could. He never had enemies nor did he step on anyone. Blaine was well loved and I guess seeing everyone here right now, having this big a crowd on his funeral only proves that indeed Blaine was and is well loved. How could he not be? He was such a kind soul. The type of person you can't get enough of. Well, at least I think of him that way. I was going to marry him, wasn't I? If I could live all over again and would go back to the time when Blaine asked me to marry him, even for a million times all over I would still say yes! Being with him was the best decision I ever made in my life and I would not change that even if I have the chance to do so… not even for a handsome prince charming. He was my own prince charming. That's how much I love him… That's how much I will keep on loving him._

_Blaine, I know we will see each other again. I would feel your warm embrace again and our souls will unite for an eternity together in heaven. In the meantime, please do guide us as we live our life here on earth._

_Blaine, you will always be remembered and you will always live in our hearts for as long as we live. I love you so much."_

Finishing his speech, Kurt stood next to the coffin, saying his final goodbyes to Blaine.

That's it. Blaine was gone.

* * *

**I cried while writing the eulogy. **

**This is definitely the saddest chapter, I think. **

**I think it can only go up from here. We'll see.**

**I suck at writing long chapters. I excuse for that.**


	4. Forget you?

**This is precisely what I hate about writing by hand. This chapter had been sitting for an entire week in my notebook and I hadn't gotten to pass it to my computer.**

**Well, here it is now.**

**Also, the title probably sucks. Neither me nor my beta reader had any ideas for the title.**

* * *

It had been a week since Blaine had passed away.

Everything had been taken care of, all but the gathering of his belongings. The landowner had been let known of the passing, so he had given the family some time to collect his things. Kurt decided to take care of this on his own.

The moment he walked inside his apartment, tears started falling down. Everything smelled like him. He knew this smell was going to go away eventually, and that was what hurt most.  
How he wished he could keep it forever, like Grenouille, from that book, 'The Perfume'.

As he collected Blaine's clothes, he kept crying. What normally would've taken less than one hour, took almost 5. He kept some clothes out, those he would keep forever in his closet, like Blaine's favorite hoodie, the one he always wore when he slept over at Kurt's apartment.

This still felt like a bad dream. Blaine had started getting Kurt into believing in a higher being, a God. But right now, if this God existed, he was a very evil being. Like when Burt was in a coma. This God apparently hated him.

Kurt woke up and saw it was already dark. He was lying down on Blaine's bed, the pillow damp with tears.  
He stayed at Blaine's apartment and went back to Lima the next morning.

* * *

During lunch that day, Carole suggested he went to see Emma Howell, who had happened to become an actually competent psychologist, because her husband, Dr. Carl Howell, had convinced her to take a few courses and get out of McKinley.

I'm not crazy, Kurt had though at first, but thinking a little further, it wasn't such a bad idea.  
He barely had been eating. He woke up screaming Blaine's name almost every two hours.

Blaine would want him to move on with his life, and that wasn't going to happen if he didn't get some professional help.

He decided he would pay a visit to Mrs. Howell the following day.

* * *

**I don't get over the "Emma Howell". I really liked Pillsbury. **


	5. Kiss

**I really liked writing this chapter. **

**No, I didn't make Kurt go crazy to fill my Klaine fueled heart. Just read on and be happy.**

* * *

Kurt drove to the building where Mrs. Howell's office was. When he had arrived there, he was greeted by a bubbly blonde girl who was far too happy. Or perhaps it seemed that way to Kurt, who wasn't in his best days.

"Mrs. Howell is ready for you." She said, opening the door for him.

* * *

The same awkward Emma he remembered from his days at McKinley sat on a chair next to a sofa, writing on a notepad.

"Kurt…Kurt?" She looked up from her notebook and her face had truly brightened up when she saw him coming closer.

"Miss Pillsbury, Hi… Sorry if I call you that, I never got used to your last name change." He greeted.

"No, no! Kurt, it's okay. Sit down, stay up, lie down-whatever makes you feel comfortable." She said.

Kurt lied down on the sofa in front of her and sighed. Here he was, about to empty his heart out.

"So…just tell me anything you want to talk about"

"It's not like I want to talk about it, but Blaine would want me to move on with my life. And I don't think I'm going to be able to do that without getting some professional help."

"Blaine? Your fiancé?" Emma asked. She didn't know much about him, but Will had once told her that Kurt had gotten engaged.

"Yes. He died, you know?"

Emma gasped quietly. She didn't want to seem unprofessional. "Continue" was all she managed to say.

A tear rolled down Kurt's cheek.

"Back when Dave Karofsky threatened to kill me, I went to Dalton Academy to see if the no-bullying policy was legitimate. What I found was more than that; I met Blaine in the grand staircase, where he led me to their Glee Club, the Warblers. He sang, and I found myself infatuated with him. My dad had found out about the threats, and decided to send me to Dalton." Kurt paused and saw Emma nodding.

"You've probably heard about this back then. I transferred. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I wasn't slushied at Dalton. I was actually, kind of popular. Blaine soon proved to be a great friend. We went out together all the time. We went for coffee every day after Warbler practice. But he didn't make any moves on me. And I was dying for him to say anything more romantically inclined."

Kurt sighed and continued.

"He was just everything I had been waiting for. He was courteous, brave, caring, attentive, funny, and let's not even get into his looks. I felt like a Disney princess waiting for the prince to make the first move. We had known each other for almost a year, and still nothing. That's when I decided to man up and do things myself."

A couple more tears. Kurt was surprised with himself. He was handling talking about Blaine better than he thought he would. Perhaps it was the fact of not feeling vulnerable. He never liked feeling vulnerable. The only people he ever cried in front of were his dad and Blaine.

Recognizing that Blaine had truly made his way to Kurt's heart and that the space he had filled was gone caused more tears to spill, and roll down Kurt's cheeks.

Emma just smiled apologetically.

"So, there we were. Blaine decided to go on a classic picnic with me, checkered blanket and everything. We were watching the sunset, very much like a romantic movie. I decided to be straightforward and ask him if he truly only saw me as a friend."

* * *

"Blaine, do you mind if I ask something really personal?"

"Not at all. What is it, Kurt?"

"Do you only see me as a friend? I mean, not even a tiny piece of you feels anything for me? More than friends?"

"Kurt…I…Truth is, I do. I dream of us being together every night. When we go out, I smile because we look like a couple. It's hard for me to refrain from kissing you."

"Then why..? Why haven't you kissed me?"

"Karosfsky. He forced your first kiss, I wasn't sure if you felt the same way I did, so I couldn't do the same he had done. I didn't want to risk our friendship. I still don't want to risk that."

"Risk what we are to see what we could be" Kurt thought.

"Silly you. I wouldn't have minded." Kurt said, pressing his lips against Blaine's softly.

A thought rushed through Kurt's mind. "Never kiss someone you're not formally with. What if they decide they don't actually like you and you're left with only want for more kisses, but you don't have the person to get them?" Rachel had once said.

Kurt broke the kiss and looked at Blaine's beautiful face.

"Blaine Anderson, would you like to be my boyfriend?" Kurt asked.

"Of course I would" Blaine answered, kissing Kurt again.

* * *

Remembering happy times with Blaine made Kurt's mood a little better. They say that if you remember someone, they had never truly died. They still lived in your heart.

He looked up to see Emma tearing up a bit.

"I…um…that was just so pretty, Kurt. I'm so sorry you lost Blaine. My secretary will help you program your next session. I will see you next time."

Kurt always thought psychologists were kind of silly. They just sat there nodding to everything you said. But this was helping. Talking about Blaine felt good.

* * *

**Look at this, the longest chapter I've ever written!**

**That thing Rachel once told Kurt? PERSONAL WISDOM. **

**The boy I kissed for the first time was not my boyfriend. We were on the steps but he ended up getting cold feet and leaving me with only the want. **


	6. First time

**First of, I want to give a shout out to the boy in my french class (mainly the place where this gets written) who is following this story. Hey Francois!**

**Now, I know I'm a suckish writer. I promise I'm really trying to get more ideas to make this longer. On a side note, the ending has been written. **

**Having said that, enjoy. **

* * *

Another week had passed. He was still very depressed, and his memory was beginning to get a bit hazy. However, he did remember the second appointment with Ms. Pillsbury, and his travel plans to New York. Kurt still had yet to finish the application process for his internships.

* * *

Annie, the girl at the reception desk of Ms. Pillsbury's office, welcomed him.

"Mr. Hummel, Mrs. Howell is waiting for you." She smiled at him, warmly.

"Annie, I'd thank you if you called me Mr. Anderson from now and on," He asked politely.

"Yeah, sure" She answered, looking back down at her list.

* * *

"Oh, hello again Kurt...are you feeling a little bit.. better?" Emma asked genuinely, choosing her words carefully.

"I mean, I still miss him like crazy, and cry myself to sleep every night... but that's normal, right?"

"Yes, as long as you don't do anything you could regret, its perfectly okay."

While Emma said that, Kurt lied there on the sofa, and as soon as she was finished talking, he started.

"He always smelled like a combination of aftershave and orange. It was the scent of pure joy. All he ever did was make me happy. We had been dating for about 4 months and he had taken me to a cute Italian restaurant in downtown Westerville..."

* * *

_"White wine?" The waiter asked._

_"Blaine, what did you do to get them to give us wine?" Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear, curious._

_"Shh, nothing. Don't ask, just enjoy, alright?" Blaine answered, giving Kurt one of his smiles, those smiles that had always managed to shut him up, no matter what he was saying._

_"I'd like the salmon, please." Blaine requested._

_"I want the... chicken parmigiano salad." Kurt said, still trying to get over the exorbitant prices._

_"Blaine, we really don't have to eat at such an expensive place…" Kurt told Blaine, quietly._

_"Are you... uncomfortable here?" Blaine asked._

_"No, just... nothing..." Kurt finalized._

_Blaine reached over and lifted Kurt's chin._

_"Let me treat you. It's nothing, really." Blaine said, before pressing his lips to Kurt's._

_After that, dinner went smoothly. There were lots of laughs, cute glances, and tiny kisses._  
_When they got back to Dalton, Blaine walked Kurt to his room. Kurt kissed Blaine on his doorstep and pulled him inside by his tie._  
_"Oh?" Blaine asked, smiling._  
_Kurt nodded, ripping open Blaine's shirt._

* * *

"Well, no need to get into details. He was great in bed, that I'll say."

Emma laughed lightly.

"Sorry, I always get awkward when we talk about sex in my office. But continue, you still have half an hour..." Emma said, trying to hide her kid-ish smile, looking down at her notes.

* * *

_"Kurt, we both know you're a better cook."_

_"Come on, you can't be that bad!" Kurt answered, pulling Blaine's hand towards the kitchen._

_"I am, trust me on this one..."_

_"Well, at least help me pass the ingredients?"_

_"Only because you look absolutely stunning in that apron." Blaine said, smiling._

_"You don't look so bad yourself, mister..."_

_They went to Kurt's kitchen and Kurt started cooking, while Blaine stared at Kurt._

_"Hand me the flour, will you?" Kurt asked, noticing Blaine's gaze._

_Kurt dropped two cups of flour into the bowl, creating a small cloud. He grabbed the butter, and sugar, adding it to the mixture. He set the mixer on it's highest setting, and as soon as it was done, he dipped a finger in it. He pulled it out and put it close to Blaine's lips. He licked Kurt's finger clean._

_"I must have done something real good to deserve him... Oh, Blaine, you're so sexy when you... oh..." Kurt thought._

_He threw himself to Blaine, who managed to get them to Kurt's bedroom in record time._

_

* * *

_

**I've done quite a different Kurt from the canon!Kurt, haven't I? He's the one taking all the first steps. **

**I'm really mad. Month-long Glee hiatus when we've only had like 4 episodes? Ryan Murphy, I'm watching you. **

**Well, what are we going to do. **


	7. Guardian Angel

**This had been written since last week, but my proof reader had been busy, so sorry for the delay.**

**I figured it was time for a change of place as to where the memories came. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

3 days after Kurt returned from New York, a letter arrived to the Hummel house.

"Kurt, there's a letter for you down here!" Carole yelled from the kitchen.

He grabbed the envelope, and started reading the letter.

At one point, his eyes widened and a smile appeared on his face. He read the letter three more times to make sure he wasn't imagining this.

He was going to be Marc Jacobs' personal assistant!

This was incredible. Kurt knew more than anyone how hard it was to become a designer's personal assistant on your internship, even if the designer was not too big. And this- this was Marc Jacobs!

He couldn't think anything else but believe this was a gift sent Blaine, his new guardian angel watching him from the heavens.

Finally, a light appeared in the darkness.

He figured he'd have to move back to New York. He didn't want to be more of a bother to Burt and Carole, anyways.

Without saying goodbye to anyone, he drove to the graveyard where Blaine's burial had been.

* * *

Rain was about to start its pouring, but Kurt didn't care. All he wanted was to share this with Blaine, even if it was only Blaine's headstone and Kurt's memory.

He really didn't care that there was mud everywhere, and that he was wearing designer clothes, or even that he was getting it all over one of his favorite pairs of shoes.

He lied down on the grass next to the headstone and started tracing the name on it with his finger, mouthing the letters slowly.

"Blaine…Anderson..."

His feelings got their way, and before Kurt could even notice so, tears were rolling down his face.

"Blaine…I miss you…" He whispered to the grave.

Blaine had always been really open to Kurt and viceversa. They shared everything that happened in their lives, even if it was just the grade on a test.

* * *

_"Blaine! Blaine! I've decided on a college."_

_"Kurt, you came at the best time. I've decided too."_

_What if Kurt had chosen a college on the opposite corner of the world? Would this mean the end to their relationship? He would miss Blaine, he was sure of that._

_As if Blaine had read his mind…_

_"If we happen to be on the other corner of the country, I promise I'll call everyday. I'll skype with you, and go visit you whenever I can." Blaine said, smiling sweetly_

_"But what if…long distance relationships are hard… or so I've heard."_

_"I must admit I've always wanted to have one… a long distance relationship. Don't judge me or anything, but...aren't we taking this too quick? I mean, we don't even know where we're going and we're already trying to figure things out." Blaine pronounced carefully._

_"Yes, yes, you're right. What if...we switch envelopes?" Kurt asked._

_Without a doubt, Blaine extended his envelope, making sure to cover the information on front. He received Kurt's and pressed it to his chest, praying to any kind of deity that Kurt wasn't going to go to California or Alaska._

_"At the count of one...two...three.." Kurt said softly, paying close attention to Blaine's movement, whose face lightened up immediately as he saw Kurt's envelope._

_"Parsons? Parsons! That's in New York! Kurt!" Blaine said, grabbing Kurt into his arms, not giving Kurt time for his own reaction._

_"Yes! And you're Columbia! That's also in New York!" Kurt shouted in joy as Blaine twirled around with Kurt in his arms._

_"Do you know what this means? We can have lunch together everyday, and coffee after school, too. If I want to see you, I can just take the subway!" Blaine said, glowing in happiness._

_"Baby, I know! This is just so great!" Kurt managed to say, before he covered Blaine's face in kisses._

_"I love you, Kurt Hummel. I love you. I love-" Blaine's mouth was stopped with Kurt's lips pressed to his._


End file.
